


Shades of blue

by VTrashyTrash



Series: You decided purple just wasn't for you [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mention of Physical Abuse, Pretty sad, Sad, Soulmateau, Spanish, flowerAU, im sorry, its 12am and I just wrote this, keith is kinda really sad, klance, klangst, lance sings, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:30:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8116489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VTrashyTrash/pseuds/VTrashyTrash
Summary: It's been weeks of the same dream of petals and shades of purple, of thorns and darkness. Keith almost thinks he's use to it by now, thinks he knows everything he should know about it now. Until he doesn't anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SugarAddiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarAddiction/gifts).



His dreams were stained by smears of purple, petals falling in the background as his legs carried him farther and farther away from the comforts of his bed. Confusion was the only feeling he could grasp during this state, his body drained from the numbness he'd been feeling lately. His hands clenched in fists and shook violently as he turn side to side trying to comprehend where he was.

Lilac over mulberry over iris. Purple shades covering his vision, splashing all around him and on his ivory skin. Soon he was running, his legs carrying him as fast as they could.

Lilac.

He panted as he reached the end of what seemed to be a tunnel. Petals were scattered all around the inside, small green branches intertwined together over the wide entrance. Some held blooming flower buds while others held the wilting body of their fellow sibling. Just like everything in the room, their petals were a soft lilac that somehow seemed to attract him towards them. Small tiny voices called his name asking him to touch them, to caress them, and cherish them. His legs somehow began to move forward yet again, a soft smile on his face as his hand reached forward. He wanted to feel the delicate touch of the flower in front of him, let it soothe him, cradle it like he’d cradled Lance that time they'd knock him out during a football game.

That day had been crazy, the crowd going wild as Voltron, their school's football team, score touchdown after touchdown against their rival, Zarkon high. He’d never seen so many kids smiling together without a single fight breaking out. They'd all been laughing together, cheering together, finally United as one as their football team showed which school was the better one. To outsiders it may have seemed like a meaningless game but to all the students of Altea high, it was a great moment of celebration finally beating the #1 high school football team in the state.

But suddenly it was gone.

The petals quickly wilted, just like the night before and the night before. Their delicate branches now had thorns scattered all around, shielding the entry to the tunnel from further entry. Keith’s smiled dropped. He should be use to this by now but it still stung like the first time. He chuckled bitterly, the sound becoming more and more familiar to him. Of course the tunnel would close every time he reached for it, he didn't deserve to go through. He never once reached out to Lance when he'd began to shut himself out of their group. Not once had he asked what was wrong. He held back a sob, tears now rolling down his eyes.

An odd low rumble of the ground shattered his thoughts. The ground seem to shake, the petals picking themselves up and slowly dancing around him. A swoosh of wind accompanied them, almost like they were partners in their own little dance, the shaking ground their own symphony. He could feel the ground begin to crumble underneath himself, deep cracks of all shapes and sizes seeming to come out of nowhere as his world began to fall apart.

Lilac

He ran again. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, as far away as he could possibly get from the haunting shades of purple. No matter how many times he was here, he couldn't comprehend why it was always purple. He hated the color the most.

Purple were the pens that Lance would let him borrow to take notes during an astronomy class, his grin always big as ever as he told Keith to make his notebook pretty like him. Purple was the color of Lance’s first pair of cleats the day they'd gone shopping as a group, fresh out of middle school and excited for high school which then had seemed like a dream. Purple reminded him too much of Lance.

Lilac had been th-

He shook his head violently, his hands covering his ears as he tried to stop the words from invading his mind. He couldn't think. He had to keep running or he would never get out of here, he had to forget. Forget that Lance had ever existed. Forget the drop of his heart as he'd heard the news. Forget the look Shiro had given him. Forget-

Keith stopped moving, his legs coming to an abrupt stop. Why did he feel so guilty? So god damn empty all he could think about was Lance? Sure, he'd been close to Lance but that didn't explain the sudden churning in his stomach. He hated it. Hated being so confused and lost. He dropped to his knees in defeat, petals flying around once again as his body made contact with the floor. His body shook violently and he let out a sound of misery. The ground continued to tremble underneath but he could care less, all he could think about was Lance.

When the image of Lance came to his mind, purple wasn't the first color that popped into his head. Instead, blue grasped his thoughts tightly and held on harshly. Lance’s eyes had been blue, Lance’s favorite flannel had been blue. All his notebooks had been blue, all he talked about was sprinkled with mentions of blue, shades of blue.

Before he'd met Lance, blue had been a sad color but now it was the color of the sparkle behind his eyes when he would smirk wickedly at Pidge. Blue was the color of the beach water in Lance’s hometown,the one he'd talk about for hours on end whenever anyone would ask about it. Blue was his eye smile, so breath takingly beautiful.

Blue was Lance.

Keith held his hands limply by his sides. A huge piece of the ground had crumbled down next to him, the hole opening closer and closer to him. He looked over at it lazily and swore he'd seen a flash of blue, but then everything went black.

 

* * *

 

 

Usually, whenever Keith had these types of dreams, he would wake up in his own bed once again, shaking and covered in sweat. This time, however, he found himself in the floor of a very not-purple, very blue room.

The petals were long gone along with the tunnel covered by flowers and vines. His eyes widened and he quickly whirled around trying to locate where he was. He'd never been here before.

A familiar snort stopped him, sending a chill down his spine. “Of course you've never been here, why would I let you when you were as screwed up as you were?”

Keith couldn't believe it. Well, actually, he could. This was a dream, a subconscious message of his brain simply telling him he missed Lance. It made sense he would suddenly show up. Slowly, he began to turn around.

The slight slouch of Lances shoulders and smug grin were the same as always, his arms crossed over his chest confidently as he leaned into a wall in the far corner of the room. He didn't seem any different if it weren't for the fact he was dead. He sported his usual attire of a light grey shirt and green army jacket as well as fitted jeans and black high tops.

“How’ve you been buddy?” He said cheerfully and swiftly moved towards Keith. “I mean, I kinda know you've been really fucked and stuff but it's the polite thing to do.” His lopsided grin was on and Keith didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He did both.

His laugh rang through the walls, his shoulders shaking due to both his loud sobs and giggles. “How have I been?” He asked, his body completely shaking now to point where he was sure he would be rolling in the ground soon. “I've been really fucking great, dude. So fucking happy, I'm the happiest I've ever been! With you gone I-I c-can fina… I can… I-” he broke down, his legs giving in and he was suddenly on the floor again, his giggles gone along with the real-life Lance he missed so goddamn much. He felt a hand rest on his shoulders lightly and somehow the tears began flowing like an endless stream. He felt so vulnerable now, almost as if his soul was right there for Lance to observe and judge. He never cried, not since his father had taught him what it could mean. Not since his mother had to be taken to the hospital after a terrible beating. If someone had gone through worse, then he could hold it in. And yet, here he was, tears erupting from his eyelids like hot, melting lava.

The pressure on his shoulder was gone and for a second he feared Lance was gone again, his wish of forgetting him actually occurring right in front of him. But then the warmth was back, now as a body wrapped around his back hugging him tightly and giving him the comfort he never thought he would need. Everything felt so strange, the fact he had actually broken down still not completely registered in his head. He could hear Lance mumble soft words into his skin as he ran his fingers through his hair softly, as of Keith was a fragile doll. Lance knew he wasn't, but at this moment he don't know what else to do. He was so use to Keith being strong and stoic, edgy, one might even say.

“Hey, remember the last time we saw each other?” Lance whispered softly, his voice sounding awfully far away as if he were fading. How could he not? Lance had excused himself so many times he'd actually thought he had diarrhea or something like that. He snorted at the memory.

“Yeah, you looked awfully sick…” His voice went softer as he finished the sentence and he leaned in further into Lance's arms. Somehow,he wanted to be held by them as long as he possibly could. He felt Lance’s shoulders shake as a laugh escaped his lips, it was a little breathless and Keith was lying if he didn't say it somehow made his heart leap.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Lance said. “I just… Well… I mean…”

“Spit it out McClain.”

“You know that flower thing that'd been going around for a while?” He seems fidgety all of a sudden and Keith titled his head back to look at him. Their faces were so close, he could make out the small flickers of grey in Lance’s eyes. The room suddenly felt very hot. “The one people would get in their chests and die from? I guess I kinda had it?” The end of his sentence sounded like a question but Keith knew it wasn't. And somehow it didn't help lift the weight in his heart.

“Oh.”

“Yeah”

His eyebrows furrowed as he quickly turned his head so Lance wouldn't see the drop of his smile. He should have guessed it. Why else would Lance continuously excuse himself to the bathroom? Keeping those petals from falling out of your mouth in public or just anywhere seemed incredibly difficult. Lance was always flirting with someone, somehow it made sense he would actually find someone he was genuinely attracted to. The question was, who was dumb enough to let Lance go? Yeah, his puns made anyone cringe and he could be a little shit sometimes but that aside, Keith had to admit he was a great catch. His genuine smiles were so fucking pretty and he could smooth talk anyone if he really put his heart into it. He was also smart, kind, great with kids, handsome… Why would anyone not accept his love? Heck, even Keith wo-

He stopped himself before he could think any further. He was dating Shiro for god's sake!

“So uh,” Keith fidgeted with his fingers slightly. “Who's the lucky person? Or I mean, not so lucky seeing as, umm, this… Yeah I'm just not gonna talk anymore.” He was rambling, something normal Keith would never do. But then again, talking to your dead friend in a dream wasn't very normal either.

Lance suddenly stiffened behind him. He moved to the right to look at Keith's face, a strange stoic expression on his face. “You have got to be fucking kidding me Keith.” He said looking at him straight in the eye. “I did not fucking die for you to not be able to tell who the goddamn dumbass is.” He pouted and hunched his shoulders further, something seemed to switch in him as if he were genuinely upset Keith had no idea who he was talking about.

“Lance, I'm confused.”

“When the fuck aren't you.”

They looked at each other for a second and burst out laughing. Keith missed this. Keith really missed this. Keith really missed Lance.

“Okay but in all seriousness,” Lance said and quickly composed himself. “Do you really want to know who the dickhead was? And why I didn't get the surgery to remove it?” He cocked an eyebrow up.

Keith nodded quickly and quickly changed his position so he could look at Lance directly in the face.

A small smile took over Lance's face, somehow making him look the prettiest Keith had ever seen him. He casted his eyes to floor slowly and took a deep breath. “He's a real dumbass let me tell you.” He looked back up at Keith and his eyes looked glassy. “I literally flirted with him for weeks and he didn't even notice at all. He just treated me like always! What a jackass am I right?” Keith nodded. “But like, the worst part is I still love him so much, even after this happened I just can't hate him. He's so fucking pretty, you know? Just so pretty to look at and his smile! His smile could cure cancer and make world peace an actual thing

“He's so cute when he's taking notes too, like he’ll just scrunch up his eyebrows and his nose and poke out his tongue a little to the side,” Lance mimicked it and smiled even wider, tears beginning to form at the edge of his eyes. Something in Keith shattered. “And when he wants to be, he can be so fucking nice to talk to. Anything I wanted to say to him, even the stupidest shit no one else would listen to, he would. We talked about cats, about space, about fucking cacti, Keith, cacti!” Keith frowned, they had talked about that before not just Lance and whoever this other person was. “I didn't want to remove the feelings even if it meant me dying because he's just so fucking special to me. I can't just leave those emotions you know?” Lance looked at Keith's confused face and sighed softly. “Do you still not know who I'm talking bout?” Lance grinned, a tear escaping his left eye.

Keith frowned even more and shook his head.

“ _Ay, si seras tonto._ ” Lance whispered. He looked at Keith in the eye and smiled, and fuck did Keith wish he had a camera right then and there.

“I love you, Keith”

The world was ending, the universe had been flipped upside down and everything was the opposite. He half expected Lance to jump up and say it was a joke but he continued looking at Keith with so many feelings, he didn't know what to feel. His cheeks were blazing hot, his face a vibrant shade of red. He didn't know what to say. “I-I”

Lance looked down slowly, his soft smile still painted unto his features. “It's okay, Keith. I know you and Shiro are dating, and if it makes you happy, I'm completely fine with this. I mean, “ he said and looked up at Keith once again, a playful grin that didn't quite reach his eyes at all. “I'm dead, dude, so like I'm not 100% okay with this but it's whatever! Just, you know, update me on the memes I've missed or something like that you know.”

_No_

“And if any new Shakira news come out, light a candle or, I don't really know how this works, but try to tell me, yeah?” He slowly got up from his spot and stretched his arms, the same smile still on his face. “Also tell Pidge and Hunk I miss them you know, they were my bffl’s”

_Lance, no_

He looked down at Keith and smirked, “We once bet who would die first and guess who they thought it would be? Me!” He laughed and Keith swore his voice cracked. “How ironic, am I right?” His eyes were glazier than ever now. His gaze flickered to his wrist. “Well, would you look at the time?” There was no watch there.

_Please stop, Lance. No, it's okay._

“I have to go but make sure to tell my mamá I love her.” A tear rolled down the galaxies in his skin. “Also my sisters and brothers and my dad and my abuelita and abuelito and just everyone in the McClain household.” He chuckled. “It might take you a while.’ Then he gave one final bright grin and quickly turned around, his pace quickening as his shoulders began shaking.

Keith could hear him hold back sobs as he stared at the back of his brown mop of hair. Lance stop. Lance walked on and on, his figure so shaky Keith was shocked he hadn't fallen yet.

_No_

He saw Lance trip, nearly fall, before he looked back at Keith and shot him some figure guns. His eyes were red and blotchy.

_No!_

“Lance!”

Lance stopped mid step and looked back, his lip quivering and holding the front of his shirt tightly. He couldn't hide the tears anymore as they poured out of his eyes. He smiled weakly and held up two thumbs up. Keith couldn't help it anymore.

He scrambled up to all fours, the seconds so agonizing they felt like hours. Once he was upright he ran as fast as he could to where Lance stood, confusion written across his features. He ran and as soon as he was close enough, tackled him to the ground. He'd seen the football team play enough times to sort of know what to do, but it all somehow came out wrong resulting in the both of them landing on their sides painfully. Keith grimaced shortly before opening his eyes and staring at Lance softly. He gazed at his face sharply, trying to memorize every line, every curve, every single freckle that decorated his perfectly smooth skin. He smiled and looked at Lances puffy, red eyes.

“I love you too.”

Lance smiled, his lips trembling once again as he crushed Keith in a hug and nodded. “I'm so scared Keith.” His voice cracked after every syllable and he hugged Keith even harder. “I'm so fucking scared.”

“It's okay, I'm here. I'm here Lance.” He rubbed circles on his back. It felt weaker as the seconds passed. Lance somehow seems to realize this.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He whispered the mantra over and over again, crushing Keith tightly after each time.

Keith nodded and slowly pulled away. He looked at the snotty nose of the boy in front of him, at the tan skin that somehow seemed more see through now and smiled. He could see he was crying as well through the reflection of Lance's eyes. His eyes which were slowly becoming duller and duller. He knew Lance was disappearing little by little. He was being taken away from him bit by bit every second they wasted, so as Lance would proudly say, he decided to YOLO through life. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed the lips of the beautiful boy in front of him tenderly. He pulled away and stared at the shock in Lance’s face and decided to do it again and again. He quickly decorated Lance's face with small feathery kisses, his arms holding him tighter as he realized how little time they had left. 

"Lance?” They boy hummed. “I love you.” He knew Lance understood by now that he meant it, but he still tried to convey as many feelings as he possibly could to the three small words. He wanted Lance to remember it forever. He couldn't forget because Keith swore he never would.

Lance opened his eyes and smiled. “I know.” Keith didn't need to hear it back, he'd heard it so many times minutes before, he didn't think he would forget. Keith ran his hands through Lances hair, the softness already nearly gone.

“Could you sing a song?” Their freshmen year of college, two years ago to be exact, Lance had sung a song at a party to try and make the girls swoon over him. Though it hadn't worked very well, it had left Keith wanting to hear his voice again and again. Lance hadn't sung since then, but he quickly nodded and grinned.

“ _Me miras diferente_

_Me abrazas y no siento tu calor_

_Te digo lo que siento_

_Me interrumpes y terminas la oración_

_Siempre tienes la razón_

_Tu libreto de siempre tan predecible_

_Ya, ya me lo se”_

His voice was soft, a quiet murmur in the silence of the room. Though Keith didn't understand a single word, he could feel the passion in Lance's words. The way his voice pronounced each word with so much meaning, Keith felt overwhelmed.

“ _Así que corre corre corre corazón_

_De los dos tu siempre fuiste el mas veloz_

_Toma todo lo que quieras pero vete ya que mis lágrimas jamás te voy a dar_

_Así que corre como siempre no mires atrás lo has hecho ya y la verdad me da igual._

_Ya viví esta escena Y con mucha pena te digo no, conmigo no_

_Di lo que podía, pero a media puerta Se quedó mi corazón_

_Tu libreto de siempre tan repetido Ya no, no te queda bien“_

Somehow, his words began to grow softer, his eyes beginning to drop slowly and Keith gripped his shirt together, the material so thin he could barely feel it at all. He wanted to tell Lance how much he loved him one last time, but he feared if he interrupted the song he would never have the chance to hear Lance again. He wanted to hold on to this memory and cherish it forever.

“ _Así que corre corre corre corazón_

_De los dos tu siempre fuiste el más veloz_

_Toma todo lo que quieras pero vete ya que mis lágrimas jamás te voy a dar_

_Así que corre como siempre no mires atrás lo has hecho ya y la verdad me da igual._

_Tu el perro de siempre los mismos trucos_

_Ya, ya me lo se_

_Así que corre corre corre corazón_

_De los dos tu siempre fuiste el más veloz_

_Toma todo lo que quieras pero vete ya que mis lágrimas jamás te voy a dar han sido tantas despedidas que en verdad_

_Dedicarte un verso mas está de más”_

Lance's voice seemed far away now, almost as if he were behind a door of some sort and Keith were leaning in to listen. He felt tears roll down his cheeks as he listened to Lance’s voice fade away a lot quicker than before.

“ _Así que corre como siempre q no iré detrás_

_Lo has hecho ya y la verdad me da igual lo has hecho ya y la verdad me da igual_

_lo has hecho ya pero al final me da igual”_

The voice of Lance softly faded to an end as the song ended and Keith looked over at the figure next to him, almost completely see through now, to make sure he could say something else before he was gone. He smlied softly at Lance and figured he might as well do it one more time.

“I love you Lance.” Keith whispered.

“I love you too, Keith.” Lance said and smiled weakly. His time was up for sure now. “Jesus, don't look so down. Your smile is radiant you know, almost as bright as the sun.”

Keith laughed. “Never took you for the poetic type, McClain”

“Never took you for the crybaby type, Kogane.” Lance fired back and smirked. “I'll see you some other time but don't let it be any time soon or I'll kick your butt!”

“Okay okay, I won't”

Lance felt tears roll down his cheeks again “I'm serious! I'll fucking beat the living shit out of you!”

“I know.”

Lance smiled and just like that, he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> “Ay, si seras tonto.” - roughly translates to "My, you are so stupid" or "my, if you aren't so stupid"  
> https://youtu.be/P2hM9CLAMu4 Link to the ¡Corre! by Jesse and Joy  
> Gifted to @SugarAddiction for actually giving me the idea of a second part or this would have never happened so thank you!
> 
> -
> 
> Okay so it's 1am again and I literally only ever have inspiration to write at night plus I was listening to Sleeping at Last (REALLY GOOD BAND I RECOMMEND IT SO HARDCORE A LOT OF THEIR SONGS REMIND ME OF KLANCE) and this baby was born. Also, I said a long time I was gonna write a part two, ended up procrastinating my dudes, and it's a lot longer than the first part but I'm actually proud of this??? Idk how I feel about the song and stuff cause it's kinda really depressing lyrics but then again this was sad so it works??? If anyone wants to know what the lyrics mean just look it up or message me idk. Anyways, I hope I ripped your hearts to shreds because I sure ripped mine while writing this :)))))) Thank you for reading!
> 
> Ways to reach me;  
> Tumblr; Main/gioyougotnojams Kpop/Vtrashytrash Voltron/Lancesthighs  
> Instagram; Gioyougotnojams  
> Twitter; Gioyougotnojams


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